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What is your favorite memory of Sin? Click on the "comments" link below and submit your thoughts. Please note, because this blog is moderated, your comments may not show up immediately.
posted by Rob Ryan at 12:20 PM
27 Comments:
I can remember coming in to interview with Sin and Vidya as a second round after interviewing with Lynn. Sin was such a whirlwind - she did everything at 150% and with a smile. She gave me a chance along with Vidya and Lynn when they brought me on board at Capital and what a wonderful place to be.
Sin is a true inspiration to all of us with how she treated people and handled situations. To Sin, there was never a black cloud - there was good to be found in every situation........a lesson we could all learn from.
Let her carry on in our every day lives......
Some people have a "glass is half empty" outlook. Others are "glass is half full" people. With Sin, it seemed that the cup was always three-quarters full and she was working hard to figure out to make it entirely full.
On those rare occasions that she would share a personal challenge, it seemed that it was rarely about her. It seemed that her concerns were always for her loved ones. When she was voicing personal concerns, it was always a matter of how something was affecting Wendy or Andy or her sister or someone else close to her.
This sort of selflessness is rare in this world.
Without a doubt, my favorite memory of Sin is that sound in the 4066 building when I was working late, usually engrossed in some vexing issue and I'd hear someone coming up the stairs. If Sin had something exciting to share (and somehow, she got excited about the simplest things), the thump-thump-thump of her energetic stomping up the stairs was unmistakable. It was always a pleasure to see her come in because her enthusiasm was infectious. I never failed to end up smiling. It was a treat to have that sort of energy and optimism injected at the end of a long day.
One more...
Sin repeatedly demonstrated her thoughtfulness whenever there was some team working lunch or dinner. She never failed to invite me, even if I was only tangentially involved with the topic in question. If it was a more social event (birthday, etc.), it seemed that she was running around, making sure everyone was invited and felt welcome. And those frequent times that I was too busy to make it, despite my pleading that it wasn't necessary, it seemed that she'd always show up at the end of the day with a plate of food that she had set aside.
What I will remember most about Sin is that she had an incredible way of making me feel appreciated. Sometimes we forget to say thank-you and well done because that's our job - and in sense, that's what we are paid to do.. but Sin always went out of her way to let me know that she valued the work that I did for her and the company. I have memories of "meeting invitations" she'd send me.. and when she'd arrive in my office..usually running.. often times she would admit that she only wanted to say "thanks" and to tell me in person that was checking on me. In my new role at CRI, it meant so much to me to know that Sin felt like I was doing a good job - and her words of encouragement always came when I needed them most. I will miss her spirit but I will always remember how she touched my life.
I worked closely with Sin for over 3 years, she became a close friend and a teammate I trusted and relied on everyday. Most people knew her as a high energy person; always smiling, enthusiastic, helpful and running to her next meeting but Sin was also one of the finest IT professionals that I have had the pleasure to work with. Sin joined Capital Returns in 2002 as an Applications Developer and rapidly progressed through increasing responsibilities, eventually to the position of Applications Development Manager. She had a voracious appetite to improve her technical and management skills and she was a great builder of both systems and teams. She was an inspiration to her teammates, both those who reported to her, as well as everyone in the organization who had the opportunity to interact with her.
Sin was a truly exceptional teammate, but an even better human being. Her infectious optimism and energy brightened everyone's day. Sin never passed an opportunity to take the time to help people. In spite of her busy work and home schedule, Sin made the time to reach out to people and help them, she had a talent for spotting someone in need, finding out what they needed and filling that need.
Everyone who met Sin instantly liked her. Those lucky enough to truly know her loved her. Sin never judged people and always looked at the good in people. Sin’s passing so suddenly at the prime of her life has been a great shock to all of us and she will be deeply missed by all of us. She enriched our lives in many different ways and I know that when I have a tough choice to make, I will step back and ask myself “What would Sin do?”
For other comments, please refer to the Journal Sentinel's guest book for Sin as well as the Welcome to the Sin Lam Memorial posting in this blog.
Sin was a young lady full of engery and she always had smile on her face. Even though I have only been with Capital Returns for year. Sin kindness has left a lasting impression on me. My last memory of Sin was when she came into Teammate Services. To model the new coat that she had purchased to match the scarf and glove set that,I purchased for her. She was my secret santa. Sin you will be missed.
Beatrice
I worked for Sin for several years. I just recently parted ways...it was time but the good-bye was still difficult. My rather strong debates with Sin are legendary. Sin and I had very similar strong "type-A" personalities.
There are people in this life that you argue with because you don't like them, BUT then there are people that you argue with because they are right (or they force you to question yourself) - this was my relationship with Sin.
Sin was always trying to get me to reach higher. She challenged me to make the best of every situation...turn difficult situations into a potential for growth. She really cared about me and my career even if that meant I wasn't going to be at Capital Returns anymore...she wanted me to be happy. I am ashamed to say that I didn't always listen to Sin and didn't always take her advice. That "type-A" thing I guess.
Sin wanted to mentor me. She gave me management books and professional inspiration materials with hand written notes of encouragement; she sent me emails about training and technical articles that she thought would inspire me (even if they were not directly related to my job). How did she have time to think about me when she was so busy?
William Ho's! Need I say more. I don't think I can ever go there again. I have so many fond memories of Sin and that food. She knew that if I had a chance to choose our meeting location or take out choice it would be there. She even went out of her way to get take out from there when I was leaving Capital (she asked my choice, but we all know that was a formality) - how many managers would do that?
Often times it is said that we are hardest on those closest to us, that we don't appreciate someone until they are gone. In my case I am finding that as I deal with this tragedy I realize more and more how much influence Sin has had on my life. If I could call her up and invite her to lunch right now I would - and you know what she would come....I know it.
My thoughts and prayers are with Andy and Wendy. Sin loved them both so much. She wanted them to learn about her heritage and learn Chinese. She was so excited when she found the Chinese immersion classes for Wendy. I enjoyed our conversations about the children. She would tell me about coaching Andy's soccer team - I remember some of us laughing thinking about Sin out there running up and down the field encouraging the team! I'm sure she was quite the inspiration to those kids.
There is so much I can say about Sin - I'm sure one of the app dev team will recount the "chicken with the head cut off" joke (Randy perhaps!). I loved to tease Sin about her English - she took it very good natured. I loved reading her emails with the missing adverbs, pronouns, etc... and I absolutely loved her interpretation of American slang! I hope the team shares some of these... She was never sure about our customs either. When I had Catherine she wasn't sure if she should send flowers or bake me a cake! Then she started sending me flowers every time I was in the hospital or had a baby...
I know Sin would be proud of how her team is handling this tragedy. Everyone has pulled together remarkably. I received calls from almost everyone on the team. She would be glad to know that we have all come together...once again in her memory!
Developer Mom is me... logged in with my blogging account and it posted goofy.
I've found your site, even though I worked with Sin several jobs back, at Strong. We'd fallen out of contact in the past few years, but reading your memories of her brings back so many of my own. I remember talking with her about something and she'd try to use some sort of English slang; I thought she was just mis-pronouncing words, but then I'd get an e-mail later and she'd spell out a word exactly as she'd written it! She had such a good sense of humor about it, laughing just as hard right along with us.
We worked on a long, difficult project together--something about that really does deepen a friendship. She was so intelligent and passionate about life. I do think of her often; I still have a small figurine on my desk that she brought back for me on one of her trips to Hong Kong. Life has gotten busy and now I can no longer call her up and reconnect.
Thank you for putting this out here. Sin's life was too important to let pass by without recognition. She was loved by many people and will be horribly missed.
I've only been with Capital since last summer so I've only known Sin for a short time. My memories of Sin are her bounding in where ever she went and her bubbly personality. The first time I met her I remember thinking there should be more people like her in the world. You couldn't help but smile when you saw her. She will be missed.
Hi,
I first met Sin several years ago through a long time friend of hers and neighbor of mine. At the time, I was studying Chinese cultural philosophisies and principles of oriental medicine. I remember asking Sin, "what does the word Love translate to in Chinese?" She told me that there were several different dialects of chinese and many, many different words for love. We used to spend every Halloween together with our kids at our friends' house. I remember Sin loved Halloween! Although, I didn't know Sin real well, the time I spent with her was really special. It was a really special time for all of the children that came together on Halloween, because it was our ritual for many, many years. I know Sin was and is a Messenger to us. I'm glad to see so many others recognize this about her! I honor her and acknowledge the love she shares with everyone.
Sin was a friend and coworker for years, and truly was the 'heart' of the department.
One of my earliest memories was when she first became a manager and had to let one of our developers go. She came into my office in tears... "I just don't know what to do, I keep thinking about what will happen to him, and his family if he is suddenly out of work!" Then she went on for a while on all of the details of the family's life that would be affected. After she calmed down a little, we talked for a while about how sometimes you have really tough decisions to make as a manager, etc. - but I felt like she was doing the right thing and she could come see me anytime she wanted to talk about it. She brightened at that, and thanked me for helping her.
[10 minutes later...] "Um, you did say I could come back any time, right?" ... and we basically replayed the first conversation as she kept seeking some way to do the right thing as a manager but still not cause any problems for that employee and family.
Of course, she eventually had to proceed with the firing, got through it OK, and went on with other things. I marvelled at the whole process, thinking what a liability it was for a manager to feel so deeply about their subordinates that it tore them up inside so badly whenever they had to discipline someone.
Time passed, and due to some odd changes in departmental structure, she was my boss for a time. And then I realized that what I thought was a liability was actually a great strength. Because I began to see she would constantly drive me to things that I didn't think I was capable of. I would think a situation would be hopeless and she would come to me with an absolute belief that I could overcome whatever obstacles that were put in my path. And strangely, just knowing that she thought I could come up with a miracle to save the day - a surprising number of times I actually did.
Times changed and we ended working in different groups so she wasn't my boss any more. But she hadn't changed in still putting her number one priority as looking out for her friends and coworkers.
As a past employee, I have worked with Sin in the past and always enjoyed her company. She was always a great help to me when I needed her. She will definatly be missed, not only by her co-workers and family, but by her past co-workers as well. I am greatful that I have had the opportunity to have known her.
It has been well documented how much Sin meant to everyone that knew her. It has been extremely difficult for those of us who worked with her every day as we wonder “how are we going to survive without her? How can we ever recover from this tragic loss?” The American Indians have a saying when they have lost their (Spiritual) way or something tragic happens that causes great heartache; they say “I’ve lost my Center”. Sin was our Center, our balance, our guide. Even though she had tiny feet, she has huge shoes to fill.
Well, right now I cannot see an answer to such questions but I think Vidya has the right idea when in her post she said that she will find herself asking “what would Sin do?” I think we all know what Sin would do in a crisis like this; she would be the one who is comforting and encouraging everyone else; no matter how devastated she was. Perhaps an even larger question is what would Sin want us to do now? I think we all also know the answer to that.
Sin was many, many things to many, many people. One of those things is that she was a wonderful role model. I often thought to myself: “I want to be like her when I grow up”… Even though I am four years older than her :-) So it is my hope and prayer that I can learn to be more like her as I “grow up”.
Jeannette asked that I tell the “Chickens” story so here it goes: One day Sin gathered the Development Team together to discuss some crisis or another and was trying to tell us to “Stop running around like chickens with their heads cut off”. But it came out as “Stop running around with chickens coming out of your heads”. Sin had such a wonderful sense of humor and would laugh right along with us when we teased her about “chickens”.
One final thought: We have all lost a great light in our lives. Maybe with time, effort and energy, we can become more like Sin and keep her light shinning within us and for those around us as and, very importantly, for each other.
The only positive thing that I can say about her death is that Heaven must have needed another Angel!
She had the biggest heart and brightest smile – a one of a kind person, who genuinely gave to others and never expected anything in return.
It was one thing to have worked with her, but it was a bonus to have known her outside of our jobs. I’ll miss taking our kids to events. I’ll miss her trying to match me up on dates…and oh boy, did she try with all the best intentions. I’ll miss how she thought of me during her vacations, and she’d buy and bring me back gifts. She knew how to make anyone feel special but she knew how to make me feel spoiled…and I’ll love, miss and cherish her for that.
I wish I had one-tenth of her energy, genuine charm and inner beauty. She's not only taught me that I can be a better person, but has shown me how.
I worked with Sin only for 9 months, but that was enough to
know what a great person she was. She is the most intelligent
and hard working person I ever worked with. She was also so loving,
caring and willing to help everyone. The picture I have of Sin in my mind is, she
running around the hallways with a cell phone to her ear, smiling and
waving at everyone along the way, often stopped by someone asking
her a question or two. I often wondered how she could do so many
things together and remember so much about all the systems at Capital Returns.
I remember taking my family to Capital Returns one day. I was in downtown with my
wife and son ( 4 years old at that time) on a Sunday afternoon when I got a call from Sin saying the
production SQL server is down
and asking if I could walk her through the steps to bring it back up. I told her I'm already in Milwaukee and
could stop by at the office with my family. Knowing that my son is with me, she brought Wendy too
so that the kids could play. Even while we were busy fixing the system, Sin made sure
to entertain the kids and chat with my wife about kids, family, school and stuff. She did not want them to feel
bored or ignored. My son still remembers her and Wendy, even after 2 years.
During the time I was working there, my wife and I were facing the biggest challenge in
our life, our son's illness. He was getting sick almost every day due to severe asthma
or food allergies. We each had to take turns to stay home or pick him from the day care
in the middle of the day. While Sin understood the situation and asked me to feel free
to take days off or work from home or do flexible hours, my wife's employer asked her
to quit. Even after leaving Capital Returns, I used to get a phone call or e-mail once in a
few months, always asking about his health.
Sin, my family and I will never forget you.
When I first came to Capital Returns I was temping for recalls. I met her for the first time and I absolutely admired her for her warmth, her friendliness and saw her as role model. She loved what she did and was eager to know how to make concepts better. She was always available to talk and if she did not she referred someone else. You were never left empty handed. As I worked on the recalls with other team members and helped to refine ways she valued my input, it was never the feeling of "I know more than you".
What I also loved to hear was whenever she said "Hmmmmm Very interesting", with her eyes looking up and her hand holding her chin as she clutches on to her clip board. It was unique how she said it. If it was not that it was the way she "flew" to places. Upon her sudden departure she reminded me of that mystical and magical dragon. She inspired me to wite the following which I have attached. I hope to create it further as a story book for children.
Later on, when I had something on miy mind that I could not tell anyone she was walking by in the warehouse and I asked her if she had a moment to hear me because I needed an advice. She listened and we talked till we both thought of our resolutions. At that time I got to know her personal life a little. We separated ways, I felt so much better, more energy, more focus. As time went by she ran into me and she asked me if everything went okay and I did. She still remembered that short moment of her busy daily activity.
Thank you for letting me write my thoughts as I am better in writing than I am in speaking my thoughts.
God Bless you,
In memory of Sin Lam - Wings of a Dragon
The sudden unexpected reaping of a friend, co-worker, and family’s life always leaves us to think that all is not what it seems. If the concept of death is left by itself death is nothing but a mere glimpse to remind us of what was and what is to be. All unfinished work and all good works that will come about from a memory is the reality of death. You may see death as a way of going from one place where one had left some work to be finished to go to another place and start a new project.
In many cultures birds are a significant symbol such as a dove, an eagle; or some a magical and mythical dragon. In the Asian culture the Dragon is mighty, its scales are glassy to provide a greater vision to those who look further than what is in front of them. The dragon’s wings are long, outreaching far, having a spectrum of colors to remind us to continue to reach into our strengths, our tenaciousness and persevere for endless opportunities for betterment of our work, to continue the work of what great people had left for us, but mostly for ourselves. The tail of the dragon is long but is quick to steer and balance our way through life’s roughest winds, coldest clouds, and warmest sunrays. And when a dragon lands on its strong legs, it provides life for others… in a beautiful, gentle spirit of love.
In 2001, I worked with Sin on a very complex consulting project and shared a "pod" with her (and the rest of our team) for about a year.
Sin was always cheerful, positive, and smiling. She was so eager to learn and try new technologies. She was using SOAP and XML years ago before anyone even heard of it. She used to get into it once in a while with the other developer on the project and it was fun listening to them argue their opinions.
My fondest memory of her was when she took us all to Peony and introduced us to Dim Sum. Most of us were new to the experience and she was so accommodating and so concerned that everyone at the table would find some aspect of the meal they really enjoyed. She turned me on to the Chinese Broccoli - yum.
She also brought back some items for the team after her trip to Hong Kong. I still have the Chinese "sticks" on my fridge, and still have the "trouble dolls" she gave me. I've even used those trouble dolls on occaision. You're supposed to tell your troubles to the dolls, set them out at night, and in the morning, things will be better.
I pray for those beautiful children of hers. I have to have faith that something good will come of this, even if nothing makes sense right now. Sin was a wonderful person and will be VERY missed.
I worked for Sin at Capital Returns between July and December 2005.
During that time we had many a heartful and spirited debate over policies and procedures, but it was always done in the spirit of wanting what was best for CRI and our customers.
In the short time I knew Sin, she demonstrated that drive and spirit in everything she did. She truly cared about all of us.
My fondest memory of Sin was when our department had a "Secret Santa" exchange, Sin had drawn my name, and along with her children gave me home-made cards and instructions regarding the gifts all week.
My heart really goes out to the kids, having my own daughter that lost her mother in a car accident when she was 12, I know all too well the pain and emptiness a child experiences when losing a parent.
As I mourn for her, I can still hear that distinctive sound of Sin's footsteps running down the aisle to get something from the printer...
Sin Lam - A technologist, visionary and a very different person
I have been one have the fortunate ones to have spent number of hours with Sin at work in the last four months as we were working on some interesting technology initiatives together.
I only knew her for four months; she had an impact on you day one.
It is reassuring to read about what others think about her. Very few people I have met seem to be so selfless. Always seeking the best for others.
She had such a positive impact on the group that I consult with right now.
Her team now is motivated more than ever to achieve her dreams. She always set challenges and was so keen to understand technology from a practical perspective. I have had so many discussions with her on issues like what motivates developers. She never shied away from saying she did not understand something, and would not leave you until she did. I had to be prepared well to talk to her as I knew she is thinking at a much faster pace that I am and is probably thinking of eight other things at the same time.
In the month of October / November we spent many hours in front of many white boards drawing picture after picture. She would drag one white board after another. When I started getting worried that I would lose all this information, she ran somewhere and brought a digital camera and in less than an hour I would have all the pictures ready for the next day's discussion.
She truly had a great understanding of software architecture meant and was clearly a big picture person. Never shied from knowing the details not telling you the details. She would not wait or postpone anything. If we were stuck on some decision point, she would pick up the phone and follow it until the issue got resolved. It is not that often you find people who understand technology and a business reason to use that technology so well.
She wanted to understand what SOA meant and why services are any different from systems we developed in the last few years. It was a very interesting discussion that ended soon as she had to catch a flight.
She made sure that I made progress and when there was a barrier, she took all efforts to make sure, a solution was found. I had looked forward for some really interesting work with her this year.
One day I had to meet her at the Caribou coffee at 8 in the morning in Mequon Rd. I reached there in time and stood outside waiting. 8.15 And she was not there. So I ended up calling her, only to hear a phone ring somewhere behind me. I saw this short person sitting in a leather couch somewhere in the back, and was drastically writing all her thoughts down. It was as if I never missed those 15 minutes. We finished the meeting much sooner as she already had some of her thoughts. She never worried if you are late and trusted everyone a lot. (Which on the hindsight was her biggest mistake?)
She called you at any time. There was no pause. It would go quickly from a hello to the point. It was otherwise very easy to know she is walking by as she made a lot of noise and had to stop quite a few times as everyone would have some question or another for her. The first thing I did everyday in the last month was to walk to her room and update her on where I was. It is rather tough even go by her locked door now.
I am thankful to Sin for all those intellectual discussions. You made a positive impact on every one and you will be missed.
My heart goes out to the kids, but I am positive that the kids of such a brilliant and caring person like Sin are surely going to get through this.
My prayers are with them and I just want to let them know that they had a mom who was very special and god may have needed her for some very important reason.
Sin's daughter Wendy is in the class I help teach at Cricket Academy. She heard about our school and was interested in having Wendy learn more about Chinese language, culture and dance. She brought Wendy to class to "check us out" and was so enthusiastic she signed on to be a teacher in one of our classrooms.
Her students will miss her - but will take with them her love of China, enthusiasm for learning and vibrant personality.
Hopefully her children will continue to study chinese language & culture. Wendy's classmates miss her smiling face in class and hope she can return :)
My sympathy to all of Sin's family - her children, sister, family in China, in-laws and her "adopted family". Her adopted brothers played such a beautiful tribute to her at the service.
kate
one of her friends from Cricket Academy
A friend of my wife's adopted a girl from China. As the girl grew older, the mother wanted her to learn something of the culture she came from. She looked for a tutor and found one. The person would teach the child in her home on the weekends. That tutor was Sin. Again, this demonstrates that Sin gave her all to help those around her.
I only worked for her for two months but the impact that she made was immense.
Dear all:
I have read these online memorials posted here and agree with how dear Sin had a positive effect on all her coworkers inspite of the dark side of her marriage.
I was priviledged to work with Sin at North Central Consulting during 1996. Sin was an intelligent, hard-working and jovial person. She always had courage and willingness to learn new programming products and applications.
I am very proud of what she achieved in her life without squishing any fellow coworkers.
My fond memory of Sin Lam is that she brought her son to a day boat weekend outing arranged by our colleage Matt. We had a grand time cruising in the boat, swimming and Sin was all smiles and happiness to spend an outdoor time with her son and us.
Sin was a professional worker and never spoke bad about her husband. She was the giving type and had lots of love and respect for all.
I am very sorry for her children's loss because they will never have a mother's love as they mature.
Sin's story inspires me to be true to myself, protect my child and enjoy every day in life.
Regards,
Thelma (Ex-NCC, Milwaukee).
I still miss you, and think of you every year at this time. I wish you were still here with us sharing your energy and smile.
Scott
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